searching for the right words

Tonight I am searching for the right words to tell my two fireflies (especially the younger of the duo) that the last of the three little kittens that I have been trying to "nurse" into at least teenage cathood passed away this afternoon.

You see, my youngest firefly loves all kinds of fuzzy little critters & had fallen head-over-heels for those sweet baby kittens.  He is so gentle and loving with the little guys, too.   I waited a few days before telling him that Marshmellow (Mel for short), the first of the kittens to pass away, had done just that.  He took it fairly well when I explained that he was really sick.. which my fireflies were somewhat aware of.  Then on Saturday morning I discovered that Fluff (the 2nd fluffy white kitten) had passed away during the night. I was heartsick over it because I had tried so very hard to help the little guys.  I buried Mel & Fluff under our redbud tree in the backyard & the fireflies have gone down to "visit" with them.

This afternoon I went out on the back porch & called for Curtis (my youngest firefly named the kittens.. and the black & white one for some reason was dubbed "Curtis".. which he always pronounces "Turtis").  He didn't come like he usually did.. he followed me around all the time "talking" to me.  :)  I did hear him meowing & I looked all around the porch to see where he might be.  I discovered him down under the steps that lead to the sidewalk & backyard... I don't know if he had fallen in between the porch & the top step(that is a hefty fall.. so I am really hoping not) or if he simply crawled under there on his own.  Anyway.. I just knew that he wasn't long for this world by the way that he cried out to me.  

There is barely enough room for me to get my arm in between the steps & the wall to the backporch, but I wasn't going to let him just die under there.  I worked for what seemed like a long time & was finally able to get him out and took him up to the porch.  I placed the poor little guy in the little box that he's been sleeping in.. complete with his towel.  It wasn't very long before he wasn't breathing anymore. The fireflies don't have a clue that he passed away. I know that it is going to break their little hearts because they had become so attached to the little guys (especially Curtis).

Curtis was a cute little kitten. He really enjoyed climbing up on my husband's chest the last few days when he'd be out on the backporch reading one of his books.  I am going to miss having my little shadow & laundry buddy, too.  Curtis was  a little "talker" and incredibly curious about everything!  :)  

The fireflies & my ladybug are fast asleep for tonight... I will figure out a good way to break the news to them tomorrow.  I had high hopes for this being a good week.. this will be the 3rd kitty funeral in a week's time.  Geez, come to think of it.. this is the 4th pet funeral in a month's time.. (3 kittens & Eduardo our pet turtle).

**Yeah, in case you're wondering.. "Eduardo" got his name from one of the characters on "Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends" on Cartoon Network--we got him after my oldest firefly's 1st grade class hatched him from an egg.**

good intentions & a great day

Ok, so I had the best intentions of posting something yesterday, but in the end it just didn't get done.  In fact, very little got done around our house yesterday, but we all had a good day & enjoyed just spending time with each other.  The kids got to swim for a while at my folk's house in the afternoon, too.

Yesterday morning we slept in a bit & went to church with my folks.  I was a little surprised that my husband was hip to the idea of visiting with them, but he said that it would give them a chance to show off the fireflies & our little ladybug to their friends.  The service ended up being their congregation's patriotic choir program, but it was pretty good.  I am super proud of my fireflies... their behavior was perfect!! :)   They were well behaved, polite when spoken to & quietly respectful during the program, too.  (unfortunately for them... we've seen their good behavior in action so we know that they can do it!).  ;)  Actually they are pretty well behaved & know what is appropriate for a worship service, etc.  

With the exception of our little ladybug, the fireflies have been going to church since they were 2 weeks old--it's old hat to them.  Ladybug was born 5 days before Mother's Day last year.. her debut was on Mother's Day at just 5 days old.  I had waited so long for my precious little girl that I wanted to show her off to everyone!  I have to say that last year was one of the best Mother's Days that I have ever celebrated-- I was so proud to show off my beautiful family.

Today the weather is beautiful(although we do live in the midwest & that can change in the next 10 minutes!).. sunshine always helps bring a smile. I know that it will come as a big surprise to my readership(all like 4 or so of you!), but I have a big list to accomplish today.. I've actually already gotten a lot of it done & it's only 9am! Thanks to the fireflies sleeping in a bit today(they are up now, but being quiet) & my little ladybug is still snoozing away upstairs.   :)  

I'm off to tackle yet another list & a brand new week with lots of wonderful possibilities...

another busy saturday

Today is Saturday... a day (at least around our house) that it known to be super busy.. packed with lots of "to do's" and events to take part in. Today is certainly no exception to that "rule".

My husband has already gone & mowed his Mother's yard(a sore subject with me.. cuz she demands that he does it & never reciprocates with any gas $$ for our mower--or our vehicle either for that matter--when my husband takes at least an hour away from us to go across town to mow). Oh, sorry... didn't mean to get on my soap box! ;)  Now.. where was I?  Yeah.. so, he's mowed her yard & is now about 1/2 way done with ours, too.

I've gotten 3 kids up, dressed & fed; done two loads of laundry(& counting); gotten a kitten ready for burial in the backyard this afternoon(one of the 2 remaining kittens that I've been trying to help along since their mother has been leaving them alone for long periods of time);  made a couple of phone calls; checked email; am in the process of posting another blog entry; cleaned up the family room for the 10, 000th time(today!)... I could go on, but I don't want to bore you with all the excitement in my life! ;)  

This afternoon we are going to a surprise 60th birthday party open house for a sweet lady from our church. Nora was my oldest firefly's Bible class teacher when he was in the 4 & 5 year old's(what seems like yesterday!) and she is now my younger firefly's teacher.  It's a come & go thing, so that will be nice--they have a small house & the fireflies get cabin fever quickly there. ;)

On a happy-ish note.. we discovered that although my husband's paycheck is supposed to be direct deposited on Monday the 30th, for some very nice reason unbeknownst to us.. they direct deposited it yesterday! :)  That is the kind of surprise I like to see when I look at our account online... unfortunately, far too often it's a "surprise" that makes you want to throw up.  

I suppose it's about time to see what all else I can accomplish today.. oh, I almost forgot we have to go to the library today, too!  :)  At least the fireflies are getting along well today & our little ladybug is in her perpetual good mood, too.  In fact, it's just about ladybug nap time---maybe that will help with my list of accomplishments, too.

update of sorts..

I actually got a nice little nap at my folk's house this afternoon & my little ladybug ended up falling asleep on her Grandma's lap, too! Unfortunately, before she(& I) fell drifted peacefully away to napping land.. she bumped her little head on the arm of their gliding rocker. She's got a bump right between her beautiful little eyes now.. I thought for sure that it would look a lot worse than it does & that she might end up with a shiner around her left eye, too.  Unless you knew what happened this afternoon.. to look at it you really can't even tell(thank goodness.. but at least she had her pictures taken at the photographers last week).

The fireflies got to swim for a little while this afternoon.. not as long as they wanted because we had thunderstorms come through our area with lots of thunder & some lightning.  There was a lot of griping from both of them, but they got over themselves and enjoyed watching a couple of shows about UFOs on the History Channel while I napped on the couch. :)  So, it ended up a win, win kinda thing for all of us!

We have an exciting evening ahead of us.. we're going to make homemade pizzas & watch some old "boys" stuff that my husband got from Netflix.  I believe that some Johnny Quest & Stingray(much like Thunderbirds.. Supermarianation stuff from the '60s) are on tap for our viewing "pleasure".. it's definitely more a boy thing than my thing.. but they'll enjoy it. Oh the sacrifices that a Mommy makes for her fireflies! ;)

It sure was nice to get a little break & get to take a nap to finally get rid of my monster sinus headache this afternoon.  My folks are pretty awesome.. we have our moments when we disagree on stuff(don't get me wrong.. and my Mom & I haven't always had a super relationship), but they're always there when I(we) need them.  Although my husband may not agree with me all the time about them... they are far less psycho than his mother & way more bearable to just hang out with, too! ;)  I know a lot of people who whole-heartedly agree with me on that, too.  (seriously!)

 I am blessed and sometimes I take that for granted.. I take them for granted.  My Dad is 71 now & my Mom is 70, both have numerous health issues and I know(although I don't like to think about it) that in not too many years from now they won't be with us any more.  That scares me a bit, so when I start to think about that eventual reality I always push it back into the "I'll deal with it(or not) later on" part of my mind.

I suppose that it is time to get in gear & start making some yummy homemade pizzas!! :)  I cheat a bit & use Betty Crocker's pizza crust mix(it's only 88cents a pack at our local grocery store & all ya do is add water to it!), pizza sauce & then whatever toppings everyone wants. Typically the fireflies & I have a hamburger pizza & my husband like hamburger, pepperoni & sometimes jalepenos on his.  I like the ease of the crust mix & it is a fun family activity getting to build pizzas... occasionally I will just use canned biscuits for the "dough/crust" and the kiddos love that, too.  Cheap & yummy fun for the whole family!  :)

just when it seemed the fog was lifting..

Just when it seemed like the fog was lifting & I was getting over the allergies/cough & cold... surprise!  I woke up feeling lousy again this morning. Despite getting a good night's sleep.. ladybug slept peacefully last night & as a result.. so did I! :)

Hopefully with a little help from allergy medicine and ibuprofen, I will quickly be on the road to feeling better. My head is pounding from a huge  sinus pressure induced headache right now.  I so.. wish that I could just crawl back into bed and disappear for a few hours until the medicine works it's magic--reality is that my fireflies & little ladybug need their Mommy.  Perhaps ladybug will take a nap with me in the recliner later on while I put in a movie for the fireflies to watch! ;)

Although I don't feel like doing anything at all today... the show must go on!  I am working on the never-ending laundry(which actually I don't mind doing that much.. yeah, I am one of those weird freakish people that actually enjoy doing laundry!) and hope to get the kitchen tackled later today, too.  Really not a great deal left in the kitchen.. a few dishes & the not-so-fun j0b of scrubbing the kitchen floor.  Usually I just sweep & use the swiffer wetjet on it, but it needs a serious deep clean... so I will have to break out the big guns this afternoon(or maybe tonight after the fireflies & ladybug are in bed... less feet to walk across it while it's still wet!).  

ladybug wrestling .. round #2

Last night was round #2 for me & my little ladybug.  She had been perfect at bedtime & went to sleep with no issues at all.. or so we thought!

At 20 minutes til 2am this morning she awakened with a dirty diaper & bad diaper rash(all my kiddos have had horrible diaper rash whenever they were cutting teeth).  My husband seemed to be sound asleep (of course.. he probably wasn't pretending given that sleep is his super power.. as he is quick to admit), so I got up to take care of her.  After a diaper change & heavy application of medicated cream, she seemed like she might just snuggle into my arms and go right back to sleep.  Well.. my hopes quickly faded on that front when she saw our dog & cat in her doorway--they had come to see what all the fussing was about.  Ladybug LOVES critters & she proceeded to talk to them, wave at them, clap for them & blow them kisses. :)  

While it was sweet to watch her spreading her little social wings with some of the four-legged members of our family... please keep in mind that it was 2 o'clock in the morning & I had to be up early to get my oldest firefly ready for a field trip his summer science camp was taking to the St. Louis Science Center today.

So.. I woke up my husband to let him know that I was taking ladybug (& my pillow) downstairs to the family room to get her to settle down(I hoped!) and go to sleep with me in the recliner.  I didn't keep track of what time it was when she finally fell soundly asleep on my chest, but I felt like I didn't get much more than an hour & a half of actual sleep last night.  

I am praying that she will sleep soundly tonight & that the fireflies will sleep-in tomorrow morning, too.  We don't have to be anywhere tomorrow & my husband will be driving our vehicle to work.  It is inconvenient to only have one vehicle, but we are blessed to have my folks living very near us, as well as my Aunt, too. They are great to help with transportation & free babysitting(on the rare chance that there is "extra" money to go on a "date" with my husband).

If the weather holds out(and attitudes  of the fireflies!)..  the fireflies, little ladybug & I will probably go to my folk's house to play in their swimming pool.  I told the fireflies that they might still get to play even if it rains.. as long as there isn't any lightening.  I mean, hey, they're gonna get wet anyway! ;)  

the pitter patter of little feet

 My little ladybug almost took a couple of  "solo" steps today.  She started to & then realized that she wasn't holding onto anyone or anything & quickly grabbed my leg.  She had a huge grin on her face & was babbling at me while pointing her adorable, chubby little finger... as if to say "Hey Mommy.. did you see what a big girl I am?!".  She certainly isn't my bitty little ladybug anymore.. how quickly those precious itty bitty baby days went by.  I smiled down at her & told her that I was proud of her & we all clapped for her, too. 

Some good friends of ours at church announced this week that they are now expecting Baby #4!  (which is somewhat interesting since they had said that they weren't having anymore kiddos when we were all discussing the subject this time last year).  Anyway.. I am really happy for them & praying that all will go well her pregnancy.  She & I were pregnant together back in 2002 when I lost my son, Elijah(& another little one in February of 2003, t00)... in fact my due date with Elijah was supposed to be on my birthday and just 2 weeks ahead of when she was due to have her second ladybug.  We've been through a great deal in our friendship when it comes to the pregnancy thing...  it was hard to watch her go through her pregnancy with no issues at all after having lost my babies.  I will never forget how hard it was to hold back tears when I held her little ladybug the first time... very bittersweet. 

I will also admit to a twinge of jealousy when I heard their news, too..  knowing that my husband doesn't want any more kiddos & that we couldn't afford to add any more little ones unless we were to win really big playing the lottery.  Honestly though.. if things were a lot different financially (& I could convince my husband), I would have another baby in a heartbeat.. well, I would wait until my little ladybug was a little bit older.  

It hurts to know that my husband isn't hip to the idea of any more little ones---even if we were to win the lottery.. but I guess (like a lot of other things in my life) I just need to get over it & not think about the subject anymore.  Unfortunately, it seems that I am entering another "season" of parenting..  whether I am ready to give up those precious itty bitty baby days.