yes.. i am still alive!

So... it's been over 2 months since I've written a post on my blog.. kinda pathetic, eh? Many reasons for my "vacation" from blog posting.. stomach flu, colds, ear infections, all the holiday craziness.. a general funk(yet again)! I have continued to keep up with all of the blogs that I read every day, just haven't felt like posting on my own.

Hopefully I will do a better job with this endeavor in the days & weeks to come. I've been doing a lot of re-evaluating of areas of my life and working on improving at least one thing(in some cases many things) in each aspect.

Marriage is one area that is getting some detailed look & work these days. My folks pre-bought me a copy of the movie "Fireproof" for Christmas & it released last month. If you haven't seen it yet.. GO GET A COPY of it!! It's awesome & really hit home for my husband & I on several levels. There are a lot of churches in our area(and across the United States) that are holding free movie nights along with marriage themed Bible study classes. There is a great devotional book that goes along with the movie called "The Love Dare".. it's a 40 day challenge for husbands & wives complete with activities & scripture passages.

Our congregation is hosting an event on Saturday, February 28th at 6:30pm... Vaughn Hill church of Christ in Wood River, IL(on Rte. 111 just up from Walmart).. FREE babysitting is provided that night, too! We will also be doing a series of Sunday morning adult Bible study classes about marriage during the month of March. If you'd like more information please call: (618)259-2100

feeling a wee bit better(while riding our roller coaster)...

Although I didn't sleep well last night & I woke up with very little voice and a lovely hacking cough... by mid-day, I was starting to feel a lot better(physically at least). 

Anyone who says &/or thinks that marriage is an easy rose petal strewn walk into the sunset is smokin' something!  Today ended up being one of those days that seem like my husband & I have been married for a lot longer than the 11 years that we are getting ready to "celebrate" next month.  Communication & finances(which are usually the  major factors) were the crux of what upset our apple cart this afternoon.  Maybe someday things will be less roller coaster-ish in our little corner of the world.

Don't get me wrong, I love him with all my heart... and would never in a million, billion years do anything to hurt him.. but there are days when I still have to vent a bit!  ;)  

I think that sometimes people that we know think that my husband must make a lot of money for us to be able to afford for me to stay home with our kids, well... not to burst any bubbles, but.. that isn't the case.  My husband works hard and has been with the same company coming up on 11 years next month(he started there 2 days after we got married).  We made the decision for me to stay home with the kids when we were first talking about having children.. we felt that it was really important to make that financial sacrifice.  The cost of everything is going up, up, up these days & there are now 5 of us on his income(which unfortunately hasn't gone up!), to say that money is tight is an understatement.  (semi-side note.. we also have one vehicle & my husband carpools with someone who works near where he does).

I get frustrated, discouraged and depressed thinking about how we're going to make ends meet every month. God has always provided for us though... I keep having to remind myself of that lately, though.

I must admit to being incredibly tired of hearing folks at church talking about their big vacation plans and the new stuff that they are doing to their homes & what not... I keep my mouth shut & my feelings bottled up, but sometimes I just feel like screaming "IT'S NOT FAIR!!!".  (I know.. real mature, but I am being honest & sometimes I seriously feel that way).   

If only that blasted Prize Patrol van would quit getting lost on the way to my house!!  I have big plans if we were ever blessed enough to win the $10 million from PCH... lots of wonderful, noble causes to support and people to help... only a handful of things that I would do for me--seriously, I always put everyone else in front of me(unfortunately, I am usually too tired to do anything for myself because I've helped everyone else). Also interesting(at least to me) that all those folks that I always put first & bend over backwards to help never seem to reciprocate.  I suppose that is a commentary on our society.

Well, it's off to bed for me after I check on the kittens in the basement.  Hopefully I can get some good, relaxing sleep tonight... I'm exhausted physically and emotionally.  In the wonderful words of Annie.. "The sun will come out tomorrow!" (sure hope so.. cuz I am tired of the monsoons!).